Post sharing – Re: People-Pleasing

If you find you have been overly people-pleasing.  If you feel you have to please everyone all the time, there is something called “Fawning” that you could be doing to cause this.

“To avoid conflict, negative emotions, and re-traumatization, people who “fawn” when triggered will go out of their way to mirror someone’s opinions and appease them in order to deescalate situations or potential issues.”

@_Masterseye shared this post on twitter.  I shared it as well on there, from her post.  And I hope she doesn’t mind that I share it here.  This touched me. I myself have been through this in a lot of ways. I know so many that deal with this, have dealt with this and are looking for answers.

People-pleasing can be a result of trauma. It’s called ‘fawning’ — here’s how to recognize it.

I hope my sharing this helps at least one more person deal with something they either didn’t realize they had or didn’t know how to deal with it.

xx

Fantasy in Poem

*Pixabay

As I searched for something to choose for my fantasy writing, I saw that so many of us women have the same fantasies.  Nice to know we aren’t alone.  But I want to do something different. So…

********************************************************

As I am guided into the room

It feels as dark as a tomb

With a blindfold over my eyes

So I can fully experience my surprise

Pulled over to the edge of a bed

I sense there is another body instead

Of just my lover and mine

And a tingle goes up my spine

I am laid back upon the mattress 

Then feel what seems like a cactus 

Rolling, prickly down my chest and over my nipple

A person moves closer and there is a ripple

In the bed covers and my body

Sensing all the possible naughty

Things we will be doing for this time together

As they have me tethered

In this time and space

I can’t believe I am in this place

Where my fantasies will be given

And all we share driven

By our insatiable desires all night long.

Day 12 – #EveryDamnDayInJune

*Pixabay

I come to you willingly

Excited and most thrillingly

To experience what I have never before

And feel everything right to my core

From the lightest of touch, building up

Growing slowly to windup

These feelings deep within

That are bursting out like conjoined twins

Lead me to the ecstasy I have needed

Carrying us on to the point we exceeded

All the emotions and passions deep down

Bring us together and now we are bound

 

The Scene

*Missy of Focused and Filthy shares this picture originally published as The Paddle and used with permission.

Misty was so new to all the BDSM scene that her Dom, Max, did not want to start her off in a live scene in front of everyone without letting her watch a few and see what she thought about the public room.  He decided to have her watch a couple of scenes before they did a scene themselves.  They agreed that together they would watch until she felt comfortable and then they would do their own.  

Max had her dress in corset, knickers, holdups, and heels and placed a collar on her prior to wrapping her in a light cape.  He himself wore leather trousers and vest with leather boots.  

After meeting the owner of the club, they made their way to the open room and sat on a couple of chairs where they could take in the scenes being played in front of them.  

There were so many going at the same time.  Sub on a spanking bench, tied to it and being spanked and played with.  Another sub on a St. Andrew’s cross, cock cage and gag in mouth as his Domme flogged him.  But the one that held her attention and had her entranced was the sub by the wall.  She had just knelt down, placed a long paddle behind her and was waiting for her Dom to begin with instructions.  They began their scene silently.  Misty did not take her eyes off of them.  The Dom had her stand and place her hands on the wall she had been kneeling by.  Pushing her bum out for him.  He proceeded to pat her cheeks softly and quickly with his hand as he held the paddle in the other hand. Misty was completely mesmerized and felt she was the one getting the peppering on her cheeks.  

Once the sub’s bum was nicely pink and warm her Dom pushed up her knickers to bare her bottom better and began to tap her with the paddle.  Lightly at first, covering her whole derrière.  He built up to the point she was gasping and Misty found herself gasping in unison with the sub.  The sub was becoming wet, as the Dom reached down between her legs and pulled his fingers away glistening.  He had her stand upright from the wall, hooked the cuffs she had around her wrists to the hoop that dangled from the ceiling, had her face the wall again and he continued paddling her bottom.  The longer he paddled, the redder her bum became, and the more she moaned and cried out at each passing blow.  

He then switched the paddle for a couple of floggers and began doing a figure eight type move on her and she groaned and moaned. He put more pressure on the hits as they passed over her, the more she caught her breath with the weight of each blow.  And with each hit Misty realized she mimicked everything the sub did.  Every groan, every moan, every cry out in pleasure and pain.  But why?  It wasn’t her that this was happening to. 

But wait! She opened her eyes she had closed this whole time and realized SHE was the one this was happening to.  SHE was the one experiencing this and reacting to it all.  It was not another sub! It was her and her Dom, Max.  She had put herself out of the scene and was watching herself and Max in this scene.   And oh what a scene! She had wanted to do a public scene like this but had been worried about doing so.  Max had offered her a solution.

Since she wanted to do a public scene but felt shy in doing so, he recommended she close her eyes and envision it was another sub and Dom playing the scene and she was watching it all.  She was surprised at how well it had worked and how lost in the scene she had been that she had totally forgotten they were in a public play room, and had focused completely on the scene and her Dom.  Now she understood what she had read about, being so focused on each other, the rest of the room disappears.  

Max was taking her arms down from the hoop and was rubbing her arms and legs.  He wrapped her in a blanket and pulled her into his arms, lifted her up and carried her to a love seat by the wall.  He gave her water to drink and said lovely things to her, like “good girl” and “I’m so proud of you” and “you did so good.”  She snuggled into his arms and just melted into him.  

They definitely had to do this again!

Day 10 – #EveryDamnDayInJune

*Pixabay

I have tried all day to determine something for this day to share for Day 10.  All I could think of is this:

He sits her down upon the bed

All fishnet, cuffs and heels

It’s not so warm yet cool instead

As the air has been down for cold wheels

For they will prickle and tickle her skin

To make her gasp, moan and sigh

Along with the screams of delight and grins

Because she loves the pain and cries

So as he begins his playful scene

With their connection so intense

He carries her and moves her in between

The world of touch, audio and visual sense

xx

#SoSS – Day 9 – #EveryDamnDayInJune

Well, I missed yesterday.  🙁

Hopefully this will make up for it though.  I haven’t done this in a very long time and even though it is Sunday evening instead of Saturday, I am going to share my #SoSS!  And it is not my normal SoSS as well.

I am slowly beginning to write a little more again and participate in the prompts and memes.  I love this community and how we enjoy sharing writing and life happenings.  I am also learning a little more every time I write.  We all have our ways of writing.  Everyone has particular things they look for and really enjoy in what they read.  There are also different understandings in what is being asked of us to write and in what ways.

Each week prior to today, in my SoSS, I would share the stories I would have picked for the prompts and/or memes, as well as those that had been picked for the week.  It is a hard thing to do because there are so many great stories and writers participating each week.

Changing:

I let what I love to do, my writing, be affected by others.  I let how other people saw me (even though extremely distorted and judgmental) determine how I saw myself and my writing.  That is wrong and I know this.  I am finding my voice and how I want to share it.  I may not be right for some.  And I may not make others happy in knowing what I write about, but this is me.  It is what I am enjoying at this moment.  No, it may not last forever and it may be something completely different in a few years down the road, but this is me right here and right now.

Right now:

So, if you enjoy my writings, my sharing, my ways of doing things, I am so happy!  If this is the first time you have come upon me and see that you like, please continue to come back! (*although, if you are below the age of 18, please do not continue because some of the information and writings are not appropriate*)  If you do not like what I am writing and sharing, I am sorry and I ask that you move on to something you do like and enjoy, and thank you for stopping by.

Most prompts and memes I participate in, I will share my writings or stories for that particular week, if any, and then I will also share the other prompts and memes for you to check out because each one has such great entries! I am not doing that this week due to time, but starting next week I will be back to it!

Thank you to those that give us the prompts and memes to participate in weekly and please continue to do so!! We love you!

xx

 

Warped and Perverted Thing To Do

“You are so warped!” Maggie laughs as Max tells her what he has planned for her, “But I like it!”

“I thought you would.”

“So where are we going and what do we need to do?”

“I have everything planned.  Since we planned on coming here to this club I have been planning.  We are going into the private rope and harness room. I will just need you to strip bare so I can get to you easily once we are in there.”

“Okay! I’m really excited about this.”

“Me too.”

As they enter the room Maggie takes off all her clothes and stands waiting for Max to direct where he needs her to be.  

Once he has set out the things he will use on the table he directs her to stand under the pulley.  He works the rope around her body, making a harness around her chest and back area.  He then has her lay down on the mat she is standing on and proceeds to tie her legs and connect that bit to the harness.   Fastening her to the pulley, lifting her up off the mat and into the air where she is now suspended.  Working on it a bit more, making sure he has secured her properly.  Each sensitive area open for him to reach and use. 

She watches, breathing steadily, knowing what his plan is and wondering how she will react once he starts.  

The whole time he has focused on tying the rope, he constantly checks in to make sure she is okay; the rope wasn’t too tight or loose and touching her every now and then to keep them connected.  

She feels so different suspended this way.  She is excited in anticipation on how he will take this, yet confident she will enjoy this time they share.  He walks over and places a blindfold over her eyes.  

“I want you to just feel.  You know my plan, but I don’t want you to see each thing I will be doing.  Just enjoy.”

“Yes, Sir,” she says with a smile.

The first thing she feels is such a slight touch she is not sure what it is, or if it is actually anything, until he moves from her arm to her right breast with it, to her nipple.  She shivers.  A feather!  He swirls it around each nipple, down her belly to her mound.  Teasing it around that most sensitive area and on down her legs.  He touches right on the underside of her right knee and she giggles.  

“Ssshhh…” he says with a smile.  

She pinches her lips together to try and hold another giggle in as he does the same to the other knee. 

He continues, but this time it is something that has more than one feather.  Or is it bristles, like a brush?  Oh yes, that is it.  Like a paint brush.  

His light touch moves down to her feet and she flinches when he reaches right on the bottom of her left foot.  He wiggles and curls it around.  She can’t help the laugh that escapes from her mouth this time.  She twists her head from one side to the other, squeezing her eyes shut, even though blindfolded.  Her reaction is even more so with her right foot.  Trying to move her legs, but can’t as they are tied in a way she cannot move away at all.   

“Mmmm…I found a really sensitive spot here,” she hears him smile as he says, “lets see where else you might be ticklish and sensitive.”

He continues up and down her body finding each and every spot with different items he uses.  After the brush, he uses a small flogger, then a crop. Last but not least, his fingers.  Oh the response he receives from just the use of his fingers after all he had done is the best! She laughs so hard that she screams.

Now that was a perverted thing to do for play, but they both loved it.  

Once back home after their session, they had great sex and then a wonderful, exhausted sleep. 

Day 5 – #EveryDamnDayInJune

*Picture from Pixabay

I have found a link of “25 Facts About BDSM That You Won’t Learn In Fifty Shades Of Grey“! It is some great information and description of BDSM and what it’s all about. 

A few quotes from the site:

*”Most people think BDSM is always tied to sex, and while it can be for some people, others draw a hard line between the two.”

*”There is nothing inherently wrong or damaged with people if they’re into it.

This is one of the most common and frustrating misconceptions about BDSM, says Thorn. BDSM isn’t something that emerges from abuse or domestic violence, and engaging in it does not mean that you enjoy abuse or abusing.

Instead, enjoying BDSM is just one facet of someone’s sexuality and lifestyle.”

*”A 2008 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that people who had engaged in BDSM in the past year were no more likely to have been coerced into sexual activity and were no more likely to be unhappy or anxious than those who didn’t do BDSM.”

So just a little insight on some of the things touched on. Enjoy!

xx