*Photo from Pixabay
I have changed so much since starting my blog (The one before this and on into this one). I have learned so much and because of this am different than who I was and where I was when I first started.
I began my blog to have a place to share my thoughts and feelings, hoping to get some feed back and maybe find others in the same place I was; as well as write and get involved in a community where I can be me.
Starting out I did this. I shared my thoughts and feelings of where I was at the time, things I was going through, and tried to do a bit of writing. In the writing I thought, well, I am creative, I can do this no problem. Wrong! I didn’t know how or where to start.
Once I realized there were memes and prompts to participate in, I thought it would be so great to tell stories and hopefully others would like them too.
Well, then I read others’ posts and stories; all personal, real life and fictional. Still thinking my work was up to par with others, I was disappointed I wasn’t getting many likes or comments, as well as not getting picked as a top three in the weekly choices. So, I started paying more attention to what others were writing. I started really taking in how others write and what gets the attention of readers. There are different reasons, of course and different genres in the sexy stories I read. I also started commenting along with the liking, because I know how much I appreciate having a comment or two.
I was getting followers left and right and building my follow count pretty well but still would only get a comment or like here and there occasionally. So, I decided I would continue to participate and change things up a bit. I love writing fictional stories and fantasies. So, I started writing more of these recently. I also decided to jump into the Smut Marathon. I knew, if nothing else, I would learn and hopefully get better at my writing.
I have found I am a cliché kinda girl and didn’t realize it. So, once again, I am trying to change things up.
Just a day or two ago I came across one of the bloggers posting about feeling that “imposter syndrome”. It hit me. I have been feeling that way a lot lately. That I am a fraud, an imposter, and not good enough to be a part of this writing community and these wonderful writers I participate in writing with. (There goes that anxiety/mind taking over to protect me thing that happens.)
But I want to be so badly and know in my heart that I can because it’s what I love.
I look up to all these great writers and when I met so many of them recently I felt overwhelmed, excited and fan-girlish (is that a word?) because I want to be like them. I know, I know….I can’t be like them. I am my own person. But, I want to be really good at this writing thing. I want to move people. I want them to want more. I have been told by a few that they really like my stories, which has made me feel excited and happy. I just want to REALLY touch people, move them in a way I feel when I read other writings.
I can see a change in a lot of my writing but know I need to do so much more. I will continue to work on things, pay attention to what makes other stories so great, get feed back and take it in to be used as I can, and to enjoy getting to know the other writers I am so in awe of. (And which are becoming friends!)
I am a work in progress. In so many ways.
Thank you to each and every one of you that take the time to read my blog. It means so much!