Do you ever get scared?
Being the over thinking, over analyzing person I am I do maybe a bit more than some. Then again, maybe mine is like others as well.
Getting scared of things like making the wrong decisions; in relationships, things I do, things I say, people I contact, etc…. I don’t know if you would even call it scared. Maybe uncertainty, nervous, anxiety and things like that instead.
All I know is I have a lot of that any more. Where I used to be confident in what I did, said, handled things, etc…, I no longer am that person anymore. I really don’t get it. Although, I am finding out so much more about me at this time in my life. I am finding the me I never knew. I guess because I now have the time to do so.
I am finding this world that I have just existed on, has so much more to offer and to see than I ever knew. I never opened myself up to more until recently and wow, there is so much to experience and be a part of! I want to get outside this box I have been living in and do so much more. I’m excited about the thought, yet scared at the same time.
So here I am back to the initial thought. Is it scared or something more?
*Pic shared from Pinterest
I share this because this is me so many times and know others go through it also. We go through these times and we don’t have to explain or give a reason. We just get through it and move on. Sometimes anxiety, fear, stress, depression and other issues do not give us any other option but to get through and move on.
Do you ever get scared, worried, nervous? That you are doing things wrong, making wrong decisions, in the wrong place, with the wrong person? I Do. All the time. But I have to believe I am here, where I am today, with the person I am with, etc… for a reason. If not to be forever, than to be right now. I have always been one to overthink, overanalyze, over love (if there is such a thing), over everything! I have learned that I have to work through these issues and find the truth. My truth.
I have learned that before reacting, breathe. Before speaking, breathe. Before believing, breathe, and pull out the real not the imagined. I have not accomplished this much yet, but I am working on it. Its a very important and healthy way of looking at things and people. At least to me it is.
I have also learned to trust my instincts and feelings about people and am learning to speak my mind and hold firm to things I believe others will try to manipulate me from. The boundaries I know I have and should be respected by others. This is especially hard for me because I have never implemented and held firm to these personal boundaries. Knowing that this is one of the reasons I am where I am today regarding issues I am dealing with makes me work harder on this.
Being over-sensitive about things is another issue, but I believe it can be both a gift and a curse. A curse, because it gets me to the over-everything point. It makes my emotions feed off others emotions and feelings as well, putting me into a tailspin at times. But also a gift, because I believe it is what gives me my creative nature. It gives me understanding of others more than I normally would be. It gives me insight to things and people that I don’t believe i would have if not for my sensitivity. Is that too much? Weird? I don’t know.
Anyway, that is my thoughts going through my head on this Saturday.
Scared I will do the wrong thing.
Scared I will not be what Daddy needs.
Scared I am not the person I think I am.
Scared I will not be strong enough.
Scared I am weaker than I think I am.
Scared others will think I am not true.
Scared I do not make myself heard the way I need.
Scared my voice is not being heard.
Scared others do not understand me.
Scared my anxiety and problems will overtake me.
It’s amazing to realize you have a real problem, to ask for help and find out who really is there for you and supports you no matter what. I had this realization recently and it enlightened me. I am loved. No matter my problems, no matter my frustration in myself, no matter the anxiety and fear that goes along with all of this.
I am blessed and I know this from the over abundance of love I feel around me, near and far. I am very thankful and know no matter what I do in life, I am never alone. When I feel anxious and out of control I have to stop and just breathe.
Do you have issues you are trying to deal with and think no one else has those issues nor understands what you are going through? Do you feel all alone in what you are going through, I do too at times and it can get overwhelming and frightening. There is always someone to talk to and to just share your problems with. I am finding this out for myself and just want others out there to know the same. No one is alone even though it feels like it at the time. There is always information about things you are going through and how to deal with them in many ways. There are help lines, counselors and people out there you can talk to and share your problems and concerns with. You are loved. You are worth it. You are stronger than you know.