Because of other things that were going on in my life, I did not get this post out last week for Wicked Wednesday. But what a great week to share this instead!
I am a better me today, at this moment, because of things I have been through, things I have learned, people that have been, and are, in my life. For the family, friends, acquaintances, people I know and don’t know, I am a better me for all these things.
But especially for the man that has been by my side through the mess that is me. Every single bit in the last few years. He has supported me, boosted me up, argued with me and pushed me forward when needed. He has been my stronghold through it all. My man has been there loving me and guiding me through the hard times and the good times. He has not given up on me when I didn’t understand why. He is my rock and so much more than I could ever explain. Gave me a place to run to, a person to talk to and confide in and a reason to keep on going when I wanted to give up. He is so much to me and more.
@TheGentlemansR1 has been non-wavering and loving me through it all. I love him for everything he is and always has been.
He knows when I have had my times of internal battles. When my inner voice has told me all the things to make me stressed and anxious; where I am almost at the breaking point. He has pulled me up when I thought I couldn’t be. He has always pushed me to do what I needed to do in getting help in counseling and anything else that would help me get through it all. Such as, self-care in exercise, massages, meditation, doctor, whatever I might possibly need, he urged me on.
I always thought I was a strong person. He and others say I am, more than I know. But, I honestly have not felt I am, especially while going through so much in the last couple of years. A lot of things and people have affected me, how I am and how I see myself. I have acted and reacted in the wrong way.
Once I had given up trying to make things right, I gave up believing it could change. So I did not have boundaries, nor did I respect myself enough to change things when I knew they were wrong. I feel I have been judged, misunderstood and criticized by so many I care about. It is my belief that I have allowed myself to lose the person I am by trying to please others and take care of others first. I believe because of this, others do not understand why I am making myself a priority right now. To find the me I am supposed to be so that they can respect the person I am. No, they may not understand, nor agree with the person I am. Just as long as they realize I am still me, yet a better version of me.
I believe no one should judge another human being. No one really knows what that person is or has gone through. If you are going to judge someone, just realize you, at some point in your life, will be judged too. If you do not understand a person and that person’s ways, get to know them, talk to them, so that you can understand, at least a little bit.
Do not criticize a person. They may be different than you. Do different things than you. Have a different way of looking at things and the world than you. This does not make them wrong. It does not make either one of you wrong. Just different. Is that so difficult? If we were all the same, did the same things, thought the same way, acted the same way, looked the same way, what a boring world this would be. This statement is so true. Someone very wise that loves me has said this more than once.
As always, I still want everyone around me happy. Happy in me and happy in their own lives. I feel there is so much hate and unhappiness in this world. I know you can’t be happy all the time. But looking at the positive side of things as much as possible does help in having better days, better relationships and better moods. Yes, some days are more difficult than others to find that positive outlook. No matter what, you are alive and able to change things if you set your mind to it.
I have gone a bit off the subject. When I touch on something I feel strongly about, that is what I do. And I seem to be able to write things down to make a point much better than saying them.
I just want to thank all those that support me, and especially the man that is always by my side as my support, friend, guide, protector, and love.
I have a way to go still but I know I am on the right track.