Here is my Why of Blogging

For F4TFriday, Floss asks the following:

*What I want to know is why? Why do we let the words fall out of us? 

*Would we write regardless of having a blog? 

*If so what is it that draws us into blogging?

*What is it that compels you to write?

*Have those reasons varied over time?

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With these questions above, I started thinking about when and why I first really started writing anything.  Like many posts for this F4TFriday, poetry was my main start to writing.  There was always that… and my diaries.  Writing short little entries of my feelings, boys I liked or “loved”, things I liked or enjoyed, when I was upset and basically things that happened each day of my life. No real story teller at the beginning of those diary entries, but as I got older, around high school age, I was more into the story telling of what was going on in my life.  Reading back through those diaries I realize how naive and unknowing I really was.  Boy how life would change!

But getting back to writing and my blog…

Why do we let the words fall out of us?

The “why of the words falling out of me” was to release what I felt was needing to spill out of my mind.  Not knowing what else to do I let them tumble out, initially in poetry and lyrics, followed by stories, then eventually my blog.  

I saw how others were sharing their thoughts, lives and stories in what was called blogging.  Going through so much at the time and learning things I wanted to know more about (D/s and BDSM), I thought it would be so great to try it.  Why not?
So, I came up with a cute kinky name and started my blog.  That was March of 2018.  

Starting out I just wanted to participate in all that had to do with kink, D/s and BDSM.  I wanted to immerse myself in all of it and be a part of it.  At the same time I was going through a lot, trying to get through it, and understand the person I was and was becoming.  Not only did I play my part in the kink interest, but I wrote stories and told the things that spilled out about what was going on in my real life.  

It was good therapy for me to get it all out of my head.  Once I started letting those thoughts flow through my fingertips onto the screen the more they poured out.

Would we write regardless of having a blog?  

If I had not started blogging, I know for a fact I would have been writing it all down in a journal or in my pages and saving it all.  But with blogging, and I’m so glad I found it, I have people that have been there, are going through it too, or are starting to experience what I have.  I saw it was good to share.  All that I read from some others helped me in what I was going through.  Not only did I feel I was not alone, but I was able to sometimes discuss with that person some similarities and ask how they dealt with it.  Then what I was going through was helping someone else.  Like I was giving to another person what I was given.  I felt I had found this fountain of giving, receiving and sharing that was a continuing flow.  

What is it that compels you to write?

So, all this is what compelled me to write initially.  Finding a  common ground in so many others that write.  Sharing what is coming from my heart and what I feel is worth writing about.  Finding a community to share in, get support from and give back to.  Even though I had written a book a few years prior, I had found my love for writing even more so in this place. Not only that, but I have found and made some really great friends in the blogging community and here on twitter.  Being able to meet a few already, I am really hoping to meet some others soon, as well as spend some quality time with those I feel connected to.  

And so it continues

I will continue in my journey of writing.  Both on my blog and otherwise, with sexy stories, real life issues and hopefully a lot more.  I have had a lot happening in my life.  Being a sensitive and emotional person, I have come to understand that it is a good thing and not something to be ashamed of or think negatively about.  Sharing and getting feedback from others has helped.  It has helped me to learn that writing things down and getting the thoughts out of my mind helps tremendously where anxiety, depression and negative thoughts are concerned.  I thank each and every person that has been there and supported me through the craziness that is me and my life.  Having taken in so much from every person I come in contact with, if not by talking, then by the things they share and stories they tell.  

I look forward to what is coming next and know with the support from my friends and some family members, this is going to be a great ride! 

My Words To Live By – Right Now

I began my blogging adventure right at two years ago.  It was during a tumultuous time and I was trying to find my footing in my life and in this world of blogging and sharing.  

Like so many of us, I began my blog as just a place to go and share things I was going through and to explore a world I was interested in with BDSM and D/s.  

After a couple of months I started following those that shared their stories and had interests similar to mine.  I found people who not only had similar interest in BDSM and D/s but also loved writing as I do.  I found several that I admired and that had memes and prompts they ran for people to participate in and share their stories.  I was so excited and wanted to join in.  

I wanted to be just like these wonderful people and do what they do and write like they write.  

Well, recently I came to the realization, lightbulb moment, that I am not like them and I don’t write like them.  I am my own person, write my own way and in my own style.  I will never be like another person because I am who I am, not them.  Makes sense, right?

One of my favorite quotes by a very wonderful writer, Brené Brown, is, “Being ourselves means sometimes having to find the courage to stand alone.” 

To me, this doesn’t mean you will actually be standing alone, but doing things you alone are interested in or have a passion for that others around you do not.  Or, they have a passion for something else even though they may love what you do.  So, have the courage to step out of the crowd and follow your passion and what you are interested in.  If you are, then there is a very large chance someone else is too and can benefit from what you do or write about.  

I am alone a lot right now and have a lot of time to read and listen to podcasts.  In doing this, I am finding things that I believe is the way forward for me.  This is in both my writing and possible future work. 

I am doing research and testing some things to verify this fact, but I am pretty sure I am on the right track and am so excited about it!!

I have had some people, mainly family, that have decided that what I write about and share is bad, not me, and that I am lost.  This is not true.  What I write about are things that I not only am curious about but that are helping me actually find who I truly am.  It is not bad and I am definitely not lost.  I am at a stage in my life where I had to make a change.  And it was a big change, HUGE! But I am getting through it.  Carrying the anxiety, stress and emotions that go along with it.  

Thank goodness I have several friends and family that love and support me.  Along with my friends in this blogging community that have come to be very dear to me.  This gets me through.  

I am always switching out quotes or “words to live by” with each new circumstance I go through.  So who knows what my next one(s) will be.  😉

 

 

Landmarks and Baby to Giant Steps

Picture on Pixabay

I have had so many landmarks and steps in the last few years.  Especially in the last year here on my blog.  

In the beginning

I was introduced to my first podcast, Loving BDSM with Kayla Lords and John Brownstone.  I checked out their website and listened to their podcast (from the beginning I might add 😉 ). I wanted to know more! I was so intrigued about the possibility of having something (other than social media norm) to actually write and share things on.

So I started reading what people were writing on Kayla’s Masturbation Monday prompt site. I wanted to do that!  But I didn’t have a blog to participate through, so I asked Kayla how I could join in.  She said I could do a guest story. So I did! Eeek! That was thrilling, nerve racking and scary! But I did it and loved the comments I received from doing it.  I was hooked!

Blog time

I started by opening my blog to be able to share feelings, stories and things I was going through.  I wanted to know if there were others out there like me and to maybe see if I could go anywhere with my writing. I began as a newbie, as everyone does, floundering through what I was doing and just trying to get my feet planted into something I could be proud of and enjoy.  

I read other blogs and realized there were other prompts and memes to participate in as well.  So, slowly I started doing TMI Tuesday, Wicked Wednesday, Friday Flash and then a couple of others like Food For Thought Friday, Fantasy Smut Friday, #SoSS, and even Sinful Sunday once!  When I started participating in all these different prompts and memes I noticed I was getting more and more followers.  Like my social media sites, I was actually getting followers by doing something I love and enjoy!

I also realized I was getting a little better at my writing.  But I also could see I had a long way to go and needed to get better.  

Well, at the end of last year I realized there was a contest going on called the Smut Marathon.  I read about it and how it had changed people’s writing and how much better they felt about their writing after participating. I thought about it, read more about it and decided I was going to do this marathon of writing when it started back up this year.  If nothing else, I would be a better writer hopefully and even if I didn’t stay in it for long, I would have that.  

Believe it or not, I am still in the running.  Granted, I know it is more about the number staying in the marathon than it is my writing at this point, but I can already tell a difference and how much better I am getting. So for that I am thankful!

As of this post, this will be my 201 post on my blog (I have deleted a few I thought did not need to be here any longer).  I am in my second year of blogging and feel a part of a loving community.

Meeting those I admire… 

Right around the mark of my first year as a blogger I was blessed to be able to go and meet so many of these wonderful writers and bloggers that I look up to at Eroticon. (Thank you Daddy!)  I was giddy, excited, shy, nervous, and so much more to be there meeting these great people.  Yes, I was and am still the big “fangirl”! 

I met Kayla and John finally face to face!! We had talked for so long on DM before we finally got to meet.  I met Molly and Michael (great hosts and minds behind Eroticon) Cara Thereon, Girl on the Net, Marie Rebelle (love her! we just clicked! 🙂 like I was just at peace and happy being around her) and Master T, E.L. Byrne, Missy, Sub Bee and Sub-Bee Keeper, Barefoot Sub, Naughty Tea Owl, Brigit Delaney, Bianca, Floss and Bakji, Jaime Mortimer, Amy Norton, Victoria Blisse and a few others I just saw from a distance but didn’t get to talk to at all. 

And so

I am looking forward to many more landmarks and steps forward.  I have a few things planned and can’t wait to see where they go! 

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Kilted Wookie, thank you for leading this great meme. 100! Wow! I hate I haven’t done but a couple of them while you were leading it, but they have been fun to read.  Good luck to May and Floss as they take over. 

xx

F4TFriday #78

F4TFriday #78 – Bits & Bobs

#F4TFriday
Using last week’s questions, I am guessing this is for this week, so here goes:

As the year draws ever closer to a close and the holidays approach, this time of year is often one of reflection as well as celebration.

Keeping the reflective theme in mind, what we want to know this week is:

When do you feel happiest in your skin?  I feel the happiest when I am going to the gym, walking, eating healthy and having fun with my Daddy (sex and play)

How do you maintain balance in your life? Is there anything you need to change? Balance is something new I am learning to do.  I am understanding my limits, my boundaries and what is best for me and my exchanges with others.  By doing this, I am reminding myself to think over things before acting and going to counseling on a weekly basis.

What has been a particularly challenging situation that you have faced? How did you handle it? What did you learn from it?  The particularly challenging situation this year has been learning how to communicate with both family and friends, realizing what I need to make me happy (even if it doesn’t make others happy) and dealing with things differently than I have before.  It is making me a better person and I feel better in myself for it.

What does it mean to live authentically? To live authentically is to respect yourself and do things even if it makes others uncomfortable or questioning.  You have to be happy in you and be true to yourself, be authentic in you and who you are.

What are the things that inspire you and how do they work for you?  The things that inspire me is writing, music and those around me.  It helps me deal with my issues and in understanding myself and others.

If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?  If I could change something about myself, it would be to be true to me at all times. To be sensitive but to not let it overtake who and what I am.  To actually be that authentic me better.