Day 3 of 30 Days of D/s – Titles & Labels

*Pixabay

What Titles and Labels Do You Prefer?

Some titles for Dominants may be Master, Sir, Daddy, Mistress, Lady, etc. Titles for submissives can be pet, babygirl, little one, boy, girl, etc.

Titles and Labels.  Some love them, some like them and some don’t like them at all.  Every person is different as is each relationship.  I think there are several I like but would never see myself as having, nor my partner.  And this can always change.  As relationships change I have known some to change titles and labels as well.  

Like, for instance, a couple starting out, call each other Sir and sub or maybe babygirl.  Then for some reason, as they develop, the Sir becomes also Daddy and the sub becomes not only babygirl but kitten or little one.  Or, maybe they had titles or labels and decided it was best to not have them at all.   

I honestly prefer babygirl or kitten.  They are sweet and just describe me the best.  And I can only see calling my Dom Sir or Daddy.  Now this of course can change, if the dynamic changes.  

To me, and not all people will see it this way, but, a nurturing, loving, guiding Dom is seen as a Daddy Dom or Sir.  A submissive under a Daddy Dom is immediately thought of as being in diapers, sucking a pacifier, etc…, that is the normal first thought of those hearing the name Daddy Dom.  I know it was for me when first learning these titles and labels.  He does not necessarily have a submissive that is a little who likes to dress up in little clothing or diapers, but there are those under a Daddy Dom that do.  

Yet, that is not me.  I am more of the submissive that likes to have a bit of discipline play, be able to have that “little” side of pouting, enjoy coloring and watching or reading Disney or happy movies.  That is not my normal day-to-day persona but it is there.  It gives me a chance to break away from responsibilities and just be silly for a while.

I also like to curl up on the couch, read, have quiet time, and just enjoy being me as an adult.  Writing, listening to music, having a good glass of wine and having me time.  As some would call, self-care time.  Everyone needs that kind of time.  

Not only submissives, but Dominants as well.  It’s very important for a relationship to have the time for self-care.  Each partner doing this is better at being more responsive and better communicators.  When they are able to have the time to regroup, take care of themselves and feel better about themselves before coming back to the partnership that needs to be strong, it helps.  I have seen it and experienced it.  [Oh! Went off on a tangent….oops!]

So, my take on the whole Titles and Labels is yes, I agree with them and these (above) are the ones I am into.  

Do you agree? Or like other ones better?

*Go to LovingBDSM to see more on these D/s topics <3 *

Day 2 of 30 Days of D/s

What Does Submission Mean To You?

Submission means something different to each sub out there.  It could mean being a slave to a Master.  It could mean a baby girl to a Daddy.  It could mean a Kitten to a Sir.  It could mean something different from any of these.  

To me, submission is being a strong person through life and everyday things but to give control over to a man/woman so that she/he can find her/his true self.  To accept guidance and love, understanding and discipline.  To agree to be a partner and know when to take a break and talk about changes needed to live a good D/s life.  To know we are all not perfect and there has to be communication, trust and love through a relationship to make it work.  

Submission is not something that comes out of a story book, even though most of us would love it to be.  It is something that is earned and given in trust and love.  It is something that is worked on and developed.  

It is not given freely without being earned.  Both parties have to be open and willing to work on the relationship.  It is not a one way street. Not just one person is involved.  

When first understanding my submissive side, I thought I was just here to please a Dom(me).  My mission was to do as a Dom(me) wanted, no questions asked.  Boy was I wrong!

I then found that I had rights and there were rules to follow and agreements between both parties to guide.  Yes, it is consensual, but there are safety points and words, to use and understand.  Not only does a submissive have to feel safe, but so does a Dominant.  For even if a Dominant is there to guide and control a submissive, he has to do it at the safety of that submissive and of him/herself as Dominant.  

So, I have learned and hope others realize; be patient, find the right partner that will work with you and will, as a partner, make decisions with you that are right for the both of you.  So that you both feel strong and in agreement that what you do together is safe, sane and consensual.  Always.

*Picture from Pixabay

30 Days of D/s through Loving BDSM

 

Day 1 of 30 Days of D/s

Dominants – The Good and The Bad

When I first started talking to Dominants and learning more and more about this lifestyle, I ran across some really great ones and some really bad ones.  Unfortunately, there were more bad than good at first.  

There were those that played for a bit then disappeared. Those that demanded up front that you do things and follow them, that you might accept right off, even though you didn’t know them.  There were those that demanded you do certain things no matter how on edge or uncomfortable they made you feel.  But, being so excited about this new thing and wanting to experience everything, you do them just to know.  

As Kayla has talked about in many of her and John’s Podcast, Loving BDSM, you start out in this sub frenzy where you try everything and trust dumb asses you should never trust.  Once you start coming down from this frenzy, you realize how bad these people as Dom(me)s really are and you back off and become wiser to whom you interact with and trust to be your Dom(me).  

To match this is the good Dom(me)s you come in contact with.  The ones that tell you to watch out for certain things.  Those that let you know to try this, but not that.  So many out there that are willing to give advise, even if you are not their submissive, and support you and guide you until you find the Dom(me) that is right for you.

To me, a good Dominant is one that supports, guides and challenges you, both in limits and strength.  He/She makes sure to understand you, your needs, wants, limits, strengths and weaknesses.  They make sure to discuss all of this and study you, making sure that you do the same with them.  Knowing this is a partnership, not just a take/give, Control/submit dynamic, for most.  

This is what I have learned. How about you?