Dominants – The Good and The Bad
When I first started talking to Dominants and learning more and more about this lifestyle, I ran across some really great ones and some really bad ones. Unfortunately, there were more bad than good at first.
There were those that played for a bit then disappeared. Those that demanded up front that you do things and follow them, that you might accept right off, even though you didn’t know them. There were those that demanded you do certain things no matter how on edge or uncomfortable they made you feel. But, being so excited about this new thing and wanting to experience everything, you do them just to know.
As Kayla has talked about in many of her and John’s Podcast, Loving BDSM, you start out in this sub frenzy where you try everything and trust dumb asses you should never trust. Once you start coming down from this frenzy, you realize how bad these people as Dom(me)s really are and you back off and become wiser to whom you interact with and trust to be your Dom(me).
To match this is the good Dom(me)s you come in contact with. The ones that tell you to watch out for certain things. Those that let you know to try this, but not that. So many out there that are willing to give advise, even if you are not their submissive, and support you and guide you until you find the Dom(me) that is right for you.
To me, a good Dominant is one that supports, guides and challenges you, both in limits and strength. He/She makes sure to understand you, your needs, wants, limits, strengths and weaknesses. They make sure to discuss all of this and study you, making sure that you do the same with them. Knowing this is a partnership, not just a take/give, Control/submit dynamic, for most.
This is what I have learned. How about you?