This year has been a lot of ups and downs for me. I honestly can’t wait to see this year behind me.
I love the Christmas Holiday season normally. Surrounded by family and friends. Good food, great conversations and love shared by all in just enjoying the time together. I have felt alone some of the time this season, even when surrounded by those I love. Feeling as though something is missing, as though a part of me is missing. I hate that.
I really hope this won’t be the case next year.
I love when I can feel the love between all. The happiness being together brings in and just the sheer joy of it all. It was missing from me and that makes me sad and I really hated it. But that, I hope, will change. I know it will take time.
This year I basically went through the motions. I really wasn’t excited about getting the gifts for others, which I normally love to do. I put everything off until last minute when I absolutely had no choice but to do something or upset the ones I love. Soooo not me. I love to get things for others and watch them open their gifts and be all excited about what they receive. It makes me happy. But it just didn’t do it for me this year.
I loved being around my family and friends, but just felt off and on my own even with them all there. I hate this feeling and I am really wanting January to get here to start a new year that I hope is filled with fulfillment, joy, love, strength, understanding and self-love. I know there is still some bumpy roads ahead and some rollercoaster rides as well, but as long as I am surrounded by those I love and that love me no matter what, I can get through it.
I have also found that being here, able to share on this blog and write (learning more and more every day), I am working through these things and finding a healing I wouldn’t get anywhere else. I haven’t shared all my problems. I guess I’m not ready to give the full low down. But being here, able to converse with all you wonderful bloggers, feeling a part of this community and sharing so much with each other, I really believe this is helping me with getting through.
My goal for the new year is to get a handle on my schedule here in participating in the prompts, participating in the Smut Marathon (even if it might be briefly, though I hope not), perfecting my writing and finding the true me in my writing so that I might make a difference in some small way. I know it has meant the world to me to get the feed back and input from so many great writers here. And making the friends I have made so far❣️
I do feel blessed through everything♥️
*Pic from Pinterest