Real Life vs. Fantasy – Day 14 of 30 Days of Kink


Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

I believe in fantasy BDSM/kink, we think of the perfect scenario where the Dom does his specific leading, controlling, protecting and stability in all he is and does. Not just in the sex/kink part of life but the everyday routines and doing things.  As well as the submissive is following as she is told, pleasing her Dom in every circumstance, there to serve and be used and lead, to give the Dom reasons for what he does as well as give up her control to him, both in sex/kink and real life.  Some think it is all serious, all rules and regulations, all following one path and only one way of doing things.   I thought this pretty much when I started reading about it and learning about the lifestyle.  But then diving into it further and experiencing it for myself I have found there are soooo many more avenues and so much more than one way of doing things or liking things in the BDSM/kink lifestyle.

Thing is real life takes over a lot.  We are all human and things don’t quite work out the way you think they are supposed to.  Once you are in a BDSM/kink real life relationship it is so different in so many ways.  I personally as a submissive sometimes have a very hard time relinquishing my control in certain things to Daddy.  I feel it is my duty to do things that I am in charge of and should be taking care of that he should not be worrying about.  Especially with us being a LDR, we live separate lives while trying to eventually pull into one.  Being used to having to take care of myself and that around me, it is very hard to think someone else, even Daddy, would know better than me in what I should do.  Yet he always has my best interest at heart and always wants to take care of things, and me, so that I don’t have to, knowing at times I have to do that as well.  (He is even right sometimes 😉 Actually most of the time.)

Truth be told when I relinquish that control to him, or do as he suggests, I feel relief and a big weight is lifted.  It shows me once again why I love this relationship and how much I count on his confidence, love, understanding and guidance in things.  Not to mention the wonderful kinky things we do.  I have learned and enjoyed so much more than I ever thought possible in a relationship like this.  In both the daily communication and sharing things and the kinky fun (and serious) things we do.  You really don’t know the difference until you experience it yourself.

But, as always, I caution anyone interested in the BDSM/kink lifestyle to be careful.  Do research, know who you are getting into a relationship with and that you are both in it for all the right reasons. Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC) are the common principles guiding relationships and activities in this lifestyle.

And that’s my take on it, and mine alone, unless you agree. 🙂


*Pic used from Pinterest


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